I am who I am because of every important person in my life, and today I choose to celebrate them.
Last year I was in the best shape of my life, I was healthy, strong and everything seemed to be falling into place.
But little did I know that God was preparing me for a tough year ahead.
Living in the public eye means going through a lot alone.
You hesitate to share certain parts of your life with the world , because you can’t always trust that people will understand what you’re going through, have compassion or even be sensitive to your pain.
That’s how I underwent surgery this year and kept it to myself.
But as I celebrate another year I want to celebrate my survival story and all the people who made it possible.
Here it goes;
Not being able to walk, bath, and do basic things you usually take for granted teaches you a lot about life, humility and all the little things we often overlook.
In this period I’ve had to smile through the pain,tears and healing.
I felt the need to mask my fears for my loved ones, I didn’t think anyone would quite understand the range of emotions I was going through.
I played the part of the strong, ever ready tough girl perfectly, until the day of surgery.
When I saw the doctors and nurses in scrubs heard the beeping sounds of medical equipment and saw the surgical instruments, it finally dawned on me in that cold theatre room, that this could very well be the end.
And then I broke down in tears at the thought of that.
No matter how reassuring and comforting my doctor, family and friends were in the lead up to my procedure, I was also very aware of the possibility that a successful surgery, was NOT guaranteed.
The realization that I’d be cut open, the excruciating pain I’d be in, the uncertainty of post surgery recovery and the idea that my body would never be the same terrified me.
Thankfully, I SURVIVED.
But the road to recovery was long, painful, confusing and sometimes psychologically draining.
And this period brought me so much clarity on my life and I came to appreciate the raw gift of love, family,friendship and even forgiveness.
It brought healing to my family in places I’d almost given up on, and created unexpected bonds with new acquaintances, giving me a new perspective on life.
But most importantly it reminded me that I’m NEVER ALONE, especially in the moments I need it most.
The overwhelming love and support from my family, friends and others I encountered during this period is a testament of GOD’s unwavering presence in my life.
So today, I want to thank God, by celebrating these people who he’s strategically placed in my life at nearly every turn to see me through the worst.
My mother : Mum, where would my life be without you? I was so naive to just how much I needed you, especially through this, but as usual you were right. For weeks I became your baby girl again, crying and needing you by my side. You put your own pain aside and focused all your energy on nursing me back to health; watching you limp back forth and not being able to help tore me up inside. But you refused to stop until I was back on my feet; so thank you mum for being strong enough for both of us, for hiding your own fears, and being my rock.
My Father : Dad, your calmness and comforting words through this period helped me out of a frightening and dark place. On the days when I was too afraid to tell anyone how I really felt, you were the one I trusted with those feelings of doubt. Thanks for using this to try even in the smallest way to make up for the many years we’ve lost apart. And opening a new chapter in our relationship.
My brothers: Sam and Manny, I really don’t know how I got so lucky to have brothers who make me the center of their universe. I felt the frustration of wanting to be by my side, but what you don’t know is I felt you there with me even from thousands of miles away. The long nights you stayed up with me on FaceTime, especially when I couldn’t sleep were so precious to me, if I come back in another life I want you as my brothers over and over again.
My friends : GGW girls, I see you. Thanks for the calls, phone credit ( yes you know yourselves), fruits and just continuously checking up on me. To Yvonne and Sandra, thanks for sneaking in the “good stuff”, to Gwen, doing what you did for me especially in my moment of need is something I will never forget. To Euphemia, thanks for being the sister I never had, and being someone I can always count on to make me feel better. To the many others I can’t mention by name,thank you for listening to my fears and joining me to laugh them away. But most importantly thanks for being friends with a handful like me.
My Doctors : Dr. Bilson, thank you for being the exception to the rule, for making me so confident in your work that I trusted you with my life. Thank you for not being the ordinary and for listening to my all concerns and fears, especially those I thought were just in my head.But most importantly thanks for going the extra mile.
Dr. Delase Amedoh ( I just needed to write your full name) : Imagine it took surgery for me to finally see you as a doctor. ???? But thank you for holding my hand as I cried like a baby. That’s an image I wish I could erase from your mind but it’s one I’ll forever cherish.
To my fans : You were with me every step of my healing process without knowing, you gave me something to constantly look forward to on my hospital bed. Some of your comments, especially your words of encouragement, support and love even when you didn’t know what I was going through.
I may not always understand Gods plan for my life and the things I go through, but I have faith that he’s with me every step of the way, and I’ll survive.